Ski Trip

Farm Trip

Killer Woods

Doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo! This is breaking news from TV1 60 minutes at 6! We have reports coming in from all over the country of sharks that can swim in the forest. During the 80 tornadoes which touched down in almost every state which yesterday thousands sharks from the Californian coast have been deposited all over the place. Like a twist in a fairy tale it has been discovered that these sharks swim in the forest as if it were the sea. This has been put down to a radioactive nuclear waste depot being sucked up in Arizona. We will keep you informed during the course of the evening. A warning anyone who knows friends or relatives are in forests at the moment, please warn them to get out!

Ernie was lost. He had got out of his car on his way home to have a leak. He was driving to his house in Tacoma from Seattle where he worked in the docks. Trying to find a spot where he could ‘go’ without attracting the eyes of the lorry drivers and Highway Patrol. Eventually Ernie found the right sort of spot and  he seemed to go into a coma as the pent up pressure in his bladder was slowly released. He spun around finding his new found freedom of the lower body quite amazing, when he was hit hard on the nose by cold reality, the road was gone, he was lost. For once in his life Ernie felt scared and, unable to handle the annoyance, grief and pressure he broke into some very manly tears.

It was now around three hours after Ernie’s unfortunate accident. After crying for around hour and a half, deciding to do something useful he had traipsed off into the forest. He had spent the last hour and a half walking round and round in a circle about 500m in diameter, though according to him he was making good progress. He remembered this by saying, “I’m making good progress,” every five seconds. If you ask Bear Grylls what to do in a survival situation when you are lost in the forest the last thing he will say is ‘Walk around in circles saying, I’m making good progress!’ However Ernie was not Bear Grylls and did not have a hope at becoming anything like him. So he carried on walking in circles.

After walking in circles for another hour Ernie was exhausted and as it was quite dark now he decided to make camp. Having always lived in Washington as a boy he had no idea where he should start. After thinking quite hard for several minutes he decided he would punch down trees like they do in the movies and make a log cabin. But as he soon found out the movies aren’t always that truthful and that punching trees really hurts. Unable to think of a better solution he lay down on the forest floor and pulled leaves over his large beer gut like a blanket. Content with his rusling bed he drifted into the deep, dark realms of sleep.

Around 1am he was awoken by a strange swishy swooshy noise. Swish swish swish swish, swoosh! Then it started again. Swish swish swish swish, swoosh! Now thoroughly scared he stood up and ran for his life (it wasn’t particularly fast but that’s another matter) straight into something very big and very solid he took a step back to examine this thing that had so rudely stopped him when he saw that two small piggy eyes were staring at him out of the darkness.

“Aaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!” he screamed realising that he wasn’t alone. “Eeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeee!!! Whhhoooo aaaaarrrrreeee yyoouuu!!!” He was pulled up into the air by the seat of his pants and given a killer wedgie as something very large and strong threw him way up into the air. Branches whipped his face and the wind hollered in in his ears, then it was all over and he fell to earth with a thud that shook the ground. Once again he was up and running for his life (which again wasn’t very fast). Through the forest he ran, oh how he ran but the thing was right behind him all the way he reach a clearing where the moon shone brightly in the clear, starlit sky that was when he realised that the seat of his $80 Tellason designer jeans full of anger and embarrassment he threw himself at his enemy focused on their destruction. As the first punch glanced the side of the beast’s snout but it’s eye couldn’t take the pressure and exploded. This sent a geyser of blood into the air and the animal became still as it slowly bled to death.

During this time Ernie had been wondering exactly what this thing that was chasing him was. Using his large body weight to aid him, he pulled the creature into the light. As the cold moon shone down on the blood covered body Ernie fainted. It was a shark floating, rotating slowly suspended in mid air.

Ernie woke up twenty minutes later he was covered in cold sweat and a puddle of sick lay beside his head. He noticed a wet patch beside his crotch and was so annoyed at himself that he managed not to faint when he saw the dead shark floating a meter away. Keen to move on again he ran out of the clearing and deeper into the cold, black forest.

After running for five minutes and walking for a further ten Ernie was feeling better and had high hopes of finding his way out when morning arrived. This light and bubbly feeling didn’t last that long though as when Ernie reached another clearing he went  pale at what he saw. A hunters mangled body lay at the base of a tree his gun at his feet and his fly tent in shredded tatters fluttering in the gentle night breeze. Ernie thinking fast for once he grabbed the gun and carried on his flight.

A further thirty minutes later Ernie was still going when he hear the sound that he had been dreading all night swish swish swish swish, swoosh! It followed him as he ran never too close never too far away waiting for him to make his move. Ernie ran on and on and on and on and on and on! Finally as the first rays of daylight crept over the horizon and into the forest below Ernie spotted an old building through the forest in front of him. As he came closer he saw that it was an abandoned logger's hut, with a shutable door! The shark seemed to realise that Ernie was trying to get away and it swam faster trying to catch up with him Ernie reached the door first slamming it behind him the shark which was colossal, at least 20 feet long began to break its way in. Smash, Crash, Clatter.

Ernie screamed in fright as the door collapsed under the sharks weight he tried to use the gun but to his dismay nothing came out when he pulled the trigger. His last thoughts were of his girlfriend and his elderly mother, then everything went black… Forever!

Ernie’s body was found a week later strung up in a tree like party bunting. The whole area was covered in his blood and the blood of smaller sharks fighting over his remains. All but one of the sharks that were scattered across America were exterminated. The remaining shark was huge, at least 20 feet long and it terrorised the people of Seattle for many years. The forest Erie died in was only 5 hectares but nobody went there ever again...

Speeches

Cyberbullying Poster by Abby S and Bailey E

NZ Freedom Campers by Nikita

NZ Freedom Campers

Freedom campers in New Zealand have been causing our clean green image to disappear, our reputation has been demolished because of the issue freedom campers have caused by littering. But banning freedom campers would cause a huge impact on our economy.

Firstly, tourism in New Zealand is very common, but if we ban freedom camping, people will stop visiting New Zealand causing us to lose our money. One huge problem that is caused by freedom campers, is littering. They  drop their rubbish. If they placed several larger rubbish bins, this would decrease the amount of litter.

Secondly, I believe freedom campers shouldn’t be banned because we would lose money from the lack of freedom camping tourists in the economy. Freedom camping is popular with tourists so if we ban freedom camping we would lose money because tourism is common in New Zealand. Tourism encourages people to spend money for their family to go on adventures through freedom camping. People may not be spending money on accommodation but they are spending money on outdoor activities and entertainment whilst traveling through our country, our image encourages them to explore the nature throughout New Zealand causing them to pay more to our industries for gas, food and many more.

Thirdly, camping is a popular activity for both New Zealand residents and for some of the two million foreign tourists arriving every year. Camp sites of varying standards, generally in conjunction with other forms of accommodation, are offered by holiday park operators throughout New Zealand. The facilities at these campsites varies from those with only a basic toilet to those that have the full range of campground amenities.

In conclusion, my understanding leads me to believe that freedom campers should not be banned but they should have strict rules keeping them from destroying New Zealand’s reputation.

Should NZ ban Freedom Camping? by Ben H

Should NZ ban freedom camping?

I think New Zealand should not ban freedom camping because it is not fair for some freedom campers who eat, sleep and live in a freedom campervan. If people are not allowed to freedom camp they will have to find a place to live otherwise they would have to live on the streets just because some people don’t follow the rules..

Some people think they should ban freedom camping for many different reasons like they litter everywhere and they do many more other wrong things. Although I understand where the Council’s are coming from it is still the wrong decision to make and it is a bad idea. They should provide particular areas where people are able to freedom camp. The Council and the Government should put some funding into freedom camping because it would stop people littering and and it could reinforce New Zealand's green image.  

The Government should put more bins out, provide more modern toilets and more convenient toilets.  Hopefully this will stop people doing their business in the forest and parks.. New Zealand should also have more dump stations so tourists can tip their bins in the correct places. Due to people doing the wrong thing five areas around Christchurch have been shut down till further notice.

Some people who are against freedom camping think that they are polluting New Zealand but actually it is hardly the freedom campers who are polluting New Zealand it is mainly us. People at schools, people at work and people at parks. They all drop rubbish wherever they go but they have not been banned. So if school kids drop rubbish would they get banned from their school. ‘No they wouldn’t’. But if freedom campers litter which they are doing also. They are getting banned and it is just not fair on the freedom campers.

All and all it is not fair on freedom campers who are getting kicked out of their campervans for polluting and for overrunning some places in New Zealand because everybody else in the country is doing the exact same thing as the campers. But yet they are still getting declined a place in travelling around New Zealand. If they follow the rules they should be allowed to freedom camp wherever they are.

Should New Zealand Ban Freedom Campers? by Eden

Should New Zealand Ban Freedom Campers?

Freedom campers in New Zealand have been destroying the clean land and contaminating it with rubbish and toilet paper. Many people are contemplating banning freedom campers but, if we did, that would cause a huge impact on our stunning country.

Tourism is not uncommon in New Zealand but it could be if we ban freedom campers. Freedom campers pay lots of money for campers, food and drink but obviously don’t spend it on fully-equipped campervans. If they did, this would not be such a major problem. If freedom campers do spend their money on rubbish bins, however, they don’t use them. If we go to their home country, would they want us littering and urinating on their land?

With tourists paying for things they need, our country has a lot of money for the government and then they can spend it on useless little things like changing the flag. If we ban tourists, we won’t be able to do that! But seriously, our country has quite a lot of money now, but without it, we will remain to have damaged cities and homeless citizens roaming the streets.

In my opinion, I believe that we should not ban freedom campers but should be more strict on the requirements for their trip. For example, instead of freely entering a camping spot, they have to have their camper checked and make sure that there is a bin and a toilet.

In conclusion, I agree that this is a huge problem but can easily be solved without harming anyone.

Freedom Campers by Nikolas G

Freedom campers have increased in population and people are debating if they should ban freedom campers in New Zealand. “I think freedom campers should not be banned because we can make ways to change how they camp.”

Firstly, I think freedom campers should be allowed to camp but only if they are camping in the right places and not in other people's properties. If freedom campers are parking in the wrong places they should be fined and if the campers leave the country they should fine the company that is supplying the vehicles.

Secondly, freedom campers should be able to camp but only if they keep the grounds clean also they need to go to appropriate places for the toilet. People should stop before they get to their destination to go to the toilet also they need to have a rubbish bin in their camper. We blame the freedom campers for their littering and toileting, but what have we done to solve the problems?

Thirdly, freedom campers need  to have a self contained sticker on their camper to be able to stay in the Hastings District Council designated areas. If they do not have a self contained sticker they  should are not able to stay in Hastings District Council designated areas. We could develop this process for all of New Zealand.

Freedom campers should not be banned but we need to make the rules more defined and we need to make things easier to help freedom campers.

Olympic Highlights by Gregor

Olympic Highlights from Thomas

Olympic Highlights by Evelyn and Hannah

Olympic Highlights by Eden and Nikita

Mini Olympics Video from the Media Team